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02 Nov
How to cold-shoulder the flu, warmly
There’s a lot of media frenzy surrounding the H1N1 virus and I was happy to weigh in with my etiquette tips and opinions for this article written by Olivia Barker in today’s USA Today.
Manners mavens Anna Post and Jacqueline Whitmore weigh in on dicey decorum during this season of H1N1. “I don’t think good etiquette means you get a cold (or the flu) to be polite,” Post says. “I think you can satisfy both” — civility and well-being. Click here to read more.
The Perfect Split Pea Soup Recipe for a Chilly Evening
Jacqueline's delicious split pea soup with Italian sausage
When I think of the holidays I think of soup. And I absolutely love making split pea soup for family and friends. It’s one of those comfort foods that warms the stomach and soothes the soul. If you would like to make this delicious soup, here’s my recipe:
What you’ll need:
12 oz. package of dry split green peas. Wash and drain. (I use Conchita brand but any brand will do.)
Half package of Jimmy Dean Italian Pork Sausage (you may delete this ingredient if you are a vegetarian.)
Half of a sweet onion (chopped)
3 cloves of garlic (crushed)
1 bay leaf
3 large, peeled and chopped carrots
1/2 tsp. of crushed red pepper
5 cups of chicken stock
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 tsp. salt
pepper to taste
Directions: Heat olive oil in a large soup pot over medium heat. Add sausage and cook until brown. Remove sausage. Add onion and garlic to the leftover oil. Heat for about five minutes over medium heat or until brown. Add chicken stock, cooked sausage, split green peas, carrots, salt, pepper, bayleaf and pepper flakes. Bring to boil. Then simmer on low for two to three hours. Stir occasionally.
Sprinkle grated Pecorino Romano cheese and garlic croutons on top (I use Locatelli brand)
Instead of using croutons, I served this soup with crackers. I also served chicken, almond, grape salad on the side.
Enjoy!
Tell Whoever Is Making My Whopper to Suck It
By Guest Blogger, Charlie Pratt
It was my pleasure to be interviewed about drive-thru etiquette by author and blogger, Charlie Pratt (www.charliewrites.com).
It’s been analyzed countless times by those who analyze things that road rage tricks the mind into believing that to be inside one’s car is to be inside an impenetrable bubble in which whatever is said and done there carries no actual consequence in real life. You’ve seen it all before: Guy #1 yells at Woman #1 from the confines of his Lexus. Woman #1, upon observing Man #1‘s irrational fit, decides to return the favor and launches a choleric counterattack, sometimes involving lewd hand gestures and sporadic pointing. This goes on for three to eight seconds before the flow of traffic forces the perturbed pair to simmer down and get to where they’re going.
It set me thinking about the places in which we create a false sense of superiority based on the feeling that we can’t be touched. The road rage issue is common theater; just the other day, I found myself staring at a man in the lane next to me, driving down the highway and waving his arms wildly, giving the double-bird to a dented blue minivan in front of him. I imagine he was under the assumption that the minivan was packed with parents and little children (which, of course, are the natural target for dyspeptic rage and inappropriate hand gestures) but what if the van had been filled with armed thugs? Mr. Rage-y Pants didn’t know, but he rolled the dice anyway.
We generate a lot of nerve when we think we’re invincible, and the drive-thru line is no exception. Restaurants, banks, pharmacies, coffee shops—the great American drive-thru is one of the best places to observe irrational human behavior based on the magic audacity that is gained by simply driving in one’s own car.
Before I began coming up with my own list, I decided to call a professional. Jacqueline Whitmore (www.etiquetteexpert.com), one of the leading experts in the field of modern etiquette, sat down with me to discuss this issue and to find out if there are a few tenets of restaurant drive-thru etiquette that might be gleaned for public consumption.
Pillow Fight: My unfortunate encounter with a Delta flight attendant
This past weekend I was a passenger on Delta flight 1070, from Atlanta to West Palm Beach. When I stepped onto the plane, I asked the lead flight attendant, Nicole J. (real name), where I could stow my laptop case. She told me that I could put it in an overhead bin in first class. Before I placed my case in the overhead bin, I moved a pillow and blanket out of the way to make room for my case. I then took the pillow from the bin and began to walk back to my seat.
Nicole noticed that I had the pillow in my hand and she quickly grabbed it from me. She then said in a scolding tone, “You can’t take that pillow out of first class!” Confused, I asked why and she said, “Because everyone in coach class would start asking us for one and we don’t have enough to go around!” I told her that no one in first class was using the pillow and she flippantly replied, “It doesn’t matter.”
For years, I have been a loyal, Delta silver/elite and Sky Club member and I have never witnessed such rude service from a Delta flight attendant. Nicole’s behavior was not only unnecessary, it made for a very unpleasant flight. Will this incident preclude me from ever flying on Delta again? Probably not. After all, I try not to sweat the small stuff.
Yet, I have to wonder who in the corporate office came up with this “policy.” I understand that the company is trying to reduce costs and therefore reduce the number of pillows on board. However, it wouldn’t have cost this flight attendant nor the airline a dime to allow me to take this pillow back to my seat. In fact, it would have made me a very happy and more comfortable customer. And a happy customer is a return customer.
Something as simple as the “coach customer can’t have a first class pillow” rule will undoubtedly impact customer satisfaction. So be warned — sometimes when you eliminate something small from your company, you end up paying a bigger price in the long run. And in this case, the bigger price could be decreased ticket sales.
HERE IS THE RESPONSE I RECEIVED VIA EMAIL FROM DELTA AIRLINES ON OCTOBER 15, 2009
Dear Ms. Whitmore,
Thank you for your e-mail regarding your recent trip on October 10. On behalf of Delta Air Lines, I apologize for the inconvenience you experienced due to unprofessional demeanor of our employee.
After reading your comments, I certainly understand why you wanted to bring this matter to our attention. We expect our flight attendants to be helpful and professional at all times. I am truly sorry you did not receive the service you expected and should have received.
I also realize the appearance of our flight attendant was unsatisfactory. We want to ensure our crew members present themselves in a fashionable and professional manner at all times. Feedback like you have provided will help us to improve our customer image. I will be sharing your comments with our In-flight leadership team for internal follow up.
As a gesture of goodwill, for lack of customer service, I have added 3,700 bonus miles to your frequent flyer account. Please allow three business days for the miles to appear in your account.
Ms. Whitmore, again thank you for writing. As a SkyMiles Silver Medallion member, we appreciate your business and will always welcome the opportunity to be of service.
Sincerely,
Jerry P. Brown
Coordinator, Customer Care
Why you should never invite your ex to your wedding
Like most women, I usually cry at weddings. I love the music, the romance, the thought of two lives becoming one. But never in my 44 years have I seen a man cry at a wedding (fathers and grooms excluded)…until this past weekend. On Saturday, my hubby and I attended my childhood best friend’s wedding. While we watched the bride and groom take their vows, a man (I’ll call him Joe) suddenly appeared out of nowhere and took a seat beside the bride’s mother. No, Joe was not a brother or a cousin. He was my friend’s EX BOYFRIEND. Right there in front of us, sitting in the FRONT ROW Joe started balling his eyes out and crying like a little baby! Upon first glance, we thought that Joe was just a sentimental guy shedding tears of joy. However, we later found out that he was seriously distraught about my friend getting married.
After the ceremony, I approached Joe in the parking lot and introduced myself. He reeked of alcohol. Come to find out, Joe came to the wedding completely inebriated! He obviously began to drown his sorrows hours before the ceremony. As he was drying his eyes he admitted that although he and my friend dated only two years he was still in love with her and that he was sorry that he let her go!
The drama didn’t end there. At the reception, Joe continued to order glass after glass of wine. After all, there was no charge for beer or wine so he took advantage of the free liquor. His depression deepened and he ended up making a complete fool of himself in front of the bride, groom and everyone else in attendance. A sheer embarrassment!
There ought to be an etiquette rule that states that you should never invite an ex-wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or ex-anything-else to your wedding, regardless of how much they tell you that they’re over you. Therefore, I’m now officially declaring this a new rule.
Have you ever invited an ex to your wedding only to be sorry that you did? If so, I’d love to hear from you.
What Happened to Civility? Are Kanye West, Serena Williams and Joe Wilson Immune to the Consequences?
Newsy.com \”What Happened to Public Civility\” Video
Just in case you’re wondering, YES, WE ARE A LIVING IN A RUDER SOCIETY. Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned values and manners? From Serena Williams yelling expletives to a line judge after a questionable call at the US Open, to Kanye West’s outburst in front of Taylor Swift at the Video Music Awards, to Joe Wilson yelling, “You lie!” at President Obama during his healthcare speech, these recent outbursts have set off a cascade of discussion about the crassness of our culture.
What has caused this epidemic of incivility? Some experts believe that we are living in a culture of entitlement where we think we can say and do nasty deeds to others without suffering the consequences.
What are consequences you might ask? When I was growing up, a consequence was a bar of Dial soap that my Granny Johnson used to wash out our mouths out if she heard us utter the Lord’s name in vain or mutter a curse word under our breath.
A consequence was a ruler our teacher used to swat the palm of our hand if she caught us yakking too much or clowning around in class. A consequence was getting sent to the principal’s office and sitting there trembling and awaiting the fate of a paddling if we were the least bit insubordinate to our teacher or the other students in class. The punishment, or consequence, wouldn’t end there. I and others like me would get another lashing (physically or verbally or both) from our parents when we got home.
Many celebrities and their publicists think that negative publicity is just as good as positive publicity. When it comes to behavior, the American people forget the good and forgive the bad. Therefore, it is the duty of the celebrity to stay in the spotlight, regardless of the price they have to pay or those they hurt along the way. What a pity.
Wish I had a magic pill or better yet, a magic seminar to cure the evils of the world. But I don’t. So until someone comes up with a cure for incivility, it looks like I’ll have job security for a very long time.
Football Etiquette Playbook
By Guest Blogger, Jorie Scholnik
The countdown is over! College football season has arrived and life is complete again! If you are an avid fan like me, you’ve been waiting months for the season to start and now it is just a matter of making it through the week in order to watch your favorite team defeat their opponent on Saturday. It is quite possible that you even bleed your school colors. Thoughts of tailgating, what to wear to the game and the location of your seat consumes every waking moment. While having school spirit is a must, keep in mind these football etiquette tips to ensure that everyone enjoys the victory:
Treat opposing fans respectfully. Despite their poor choice to cheer on another team, these fans did travel a long way to enjoy the game and deserve to have a pleasant experience. Also, you are a reflection of your school and, therefore, should want to act in a classy manner. Taunting is never appropriate.
Profanity won’t score you any points. I am well aware of how upsetting a dropped pass or a quarterback getting sacked can be, but football games should be a family-friendly event. People can get offended by foul language and it is grounds for ejection at many stadiums.
Don’t start the wave on offense. Your beloved team needs the fans in the stadium to be quiet so they can hear play calls and communicate with their coaches. However, it is perfectly acceptable to scream and get loud on when your team is on defense.
Avoid sneaking people into your section. It is always fun to sit with your friends, but the rows become extremely uncomfortable when there is not enough room. Additionally, people are more prone to get injured and suffer from the heat when it is overcrowded.
Pictures with others should wait until timeouts or halftime. People spend a lot of money for their tickets and don’t want their view of the field to be obstructed. For example, it is irritating when others block your view in order to take pictures during a scoring drive. Taking pictures of just the players or the field is acceptable at all times as long as you are respectful of others’ view. For that matter, fans should not leave or return to their seats when there is action on the field.
Jorie Scholnik is currently a graduate student at the University of Florida, where she has attended every home game for the past five seasons. She is an enthusiastic Gator fan who bleeds orange and blue. She has been respectfully winning national championships since 2006. She can be reached at Twitter.com/joriescholnik.
29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life
By Cami Walker, Guest Blogger
The first day of my personal 29-Day Giving Challenge was preceded by a sleepless night. I was awake all night feeling angry and sorry for myself during a difficult flare up of my Multiple Sclerosis. When insomnia hits, I often go through old journals and read them. I found a note that I’d made during a phone session with one of my spiritual teachers, Mbali Creazzo, two months before. The note said, “Give away 29 gifts in 29 days.” It was 3 a.m. and I decided in that moment to take the suggestion.
And so my 29-Day Giving Challenge began that morning as I gave my first gift — a simple supportive phone call to another friend living with MS. I woke up the next day and the next day after that feeling excited about what I might give away. And I began to notice that the more I gave away, the more abundance I was experiencing for myself.
I wanted to see what would happen in my life if I really committed and focused my energy on giving mindfully for 29 days. What space would it create in my life for new and unexpected things to occur? What shifts would I see in my thinking and behavior as a result? What impact would my gifts have on others? These were just a few of the questions I was curious about in the beginning, but there’s no way I could have anticipated what unfolded for me.
By Day 29, I was astounded by the magical and miraculous shifts in my life:
- I was feeling happier, healthier, and more in awe with life.
- I found myself smiling and laughing more.
- My body got stronger and I was able to stop walking with my cane by Day 14.
- My business exploded with new, unexpected opportunities and I was able to go back to work part-time again after months of being too sick to work.
- I began connecting with a community of new friends in Los Angeles after feeling isolated in my new home for several months.
- I also reconnected with my community of friends from San Franciscio and the Midwest, where I had lived previously.
- My creativity opened up and I began writing stories regularly.
- I began experiencing a deeper intimacy in my relationship with my husband, family and friends.
The list of changes goes on and on. This is only the beginning.
When I started out, nothing was planned. I simply began the day and when I felt moved to give something, I did. Part of me initially wanted to plot out the 29 days and line up the things I was giving in my hallway so I had the illusion of knowing what to expect. But collapsing into that old, manipulative and controlling way of being would defeat the purpose of the experiment.
I documented what I gave away and any observations I made each day. I began to post my stories online at http://www.29Gifts.org. Who knows, I thought, maybe others will decide to take the 29-Day Giving Challenge and experience a similar positive impact on their lives. So I decided to invite some friends to join me and within a couple weeks of sending the first invitation over 120 people signed up and committed to the Challenge. Today there are more than 4,700 committed 29Givers in 38 countries.
Our collective goal at 29 Gifts is to create a worldwide revival of the giving spirit in the world. We want to inspire more generosity on the planet and help change lives, one gift at a time. We have set a goal to inspire 29,000 people to sign up at http://www.29Gifts.org and commit to offer their gifts to the world by 10/29/09. I hope you’ll decide to join us and spread the word to all of your friends and family by inviting them to join in our global giving spree.
My book, 29 Gifts: How a Month of Giving can Change Your Life (scheduled for public release on Oct. 9) can be pre-ordered now at a 32% savings. In the book you can read my own story of healing through the act of mindful giving, as well as stories from other members of our movement. Medicine Woman, Mbali Creazzo, also offers tips and suggestions for how you can get the most out of your own 29-Day Giving Challenge.
Click here for Cami Walker Video
How to Send the Right E-Mail to the Right Person: A Lesson Learned the Hard Way
Do you dash off e-mails and hit “send” without a second glance? Whether we choose to admit it or not, most of us are guilty of doing this. My husband, Brian, is an outstanding REALTOR however he recently admitted to sending an e-mail to the wrong person by mistake.
Just today, he told me that he meant to send one of his clients an e-mail containing an important contract. The client’s e-mail was something like, “JohnQPublic@hotmail.com.“ As Brian hastily typed the e-mail, he accidentally forgot to include the “Q” in the address bar. As a result, the e-mail was sent to “JohnPublic@hotmail.com.”
The recipient, John Public, was so irate when he received this e-mail that he responded with an e-mail that read, “Please desist all correspondence to this email address. You do me, yourself, and your clients a disservice by not verifying the address to which you send sensitive and private documents.”
Point well taken. The lesson learned is to always check and double-check a person’s e-mail address prior to sending sensitive or confidential information. If you don’t, it could end up in the wrong hands.
Have you ever sent an email that you later regretted sending? If so, let me hear from you.
You're Hired! Proper Preparation and Follow-Up Increases Your Marketability When Looking for a Job
Whether you are a person who is back on the job market for the first time in years or someone who has just graduated from college and is new to the job market, you must do your part to stand out and outshine the competition.
If you are one of the thousands of job seekers who is finding it difficult to get your foot into the corporate door, there are some tactics you may want to consider in order to increase your chances of getting a call-back interview and getting hired.
Knowledge is power. The more you know about the company, the more you’ll impress the interviewer. Visit the company’s website, particularly the media room, and learn everything you can about the company. In the interview, bring up any good news you have read, particularly awards that the company has won.
Avoid the five deadly words. Never say to an interviewer, “Tell me about your company.” This is a dead giveaway that you didn’t do your homework and that you are not genuinely interested in the company.
Be unique. Consider those contestants who participate on shows like “American Idol” and “Dancing with the Stars.” It’s clear that they need more than just talent and good looks to win to competition. They must possess something extra that makes them memorable. Job applicants are no exception. Dress to impress and don’t be afraid to wear a dash of color. A drab blue or black suit can be spiced up with a colorful tie or scarf. Your smile and exuberant personality, combined with your talent and eagerness to learn new challenges will help you stand out.
Loose lips sink ships. Don’t speak poorly about your past employer. Instead of talking about what you didn’t like, talk about what you did like and learn while working for your former employer.
Know the deadline. At the conclusion of the interview, ask the interviewer how soon you can expect to hear back from her with a decision. If you don’t hear anything by that date, follow-up with a phone call or email.
Get a card. Be sure to get the interviewer’s business card before you leave so you have the correct email and telephone number for follow-up.
Ask and you shall receive. Don’t be afraid to ask for the job. As the interview comes to a close, state why you want the job and why you think you are the best candidate.
Follow-up within 24 hours with a thank-you email. Yes, I said thank-you email. Most companies are “going green” and are becoming paperless. Therefore it’s easier for employers to forward and file a thank- you note versus a handwritten note.
Be short and sweet. When emailing an employer, make sure your message is clear, concise and free of spelling and grammatical errors. Customize your email by including the interviewer’s name in the greeting. An email addressed to “Sir or Madam” is sure to be deleted.
Three strikes and you’re out. You’ll be perceived as a pest if you hound an employer several times a week to see if he has made his decision. Follow-up every couple of weeks, but no more than three times, before moving on to the next opportunity.