October 11th, 2010

Why You Should Drink More, Eat More, and Exercise Less!

by Jacqueline Whitmore

A dear friend forwarded this to me, and it was too good not to pass on. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


Interview With a Trusted Chinese Doctor


Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.  It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

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Comments

4 Responses to “Why You Should Drink More, Eat More, and Exercise Less!”

  1. Lynda Margaret on October 12th, 2010 12:08 am

    That is the funniest yet scariest thing I have read in a long time. My instincts are to yell “this is a joke” but my mind tells me that it is all true.

  2. Julie Maeder on October 14th, 2010 9:58 am

    Hahaha, that is hysterical! Thanks for the laugh. Helps to keep life in perspective, that it is not all so serious.

  3. Jigme Tenzin on November 5th, 2010 5:49 pm

    Hahaha…..The myth overtakes the science. But there is a reason to believe in natural process then be ruled hypothetical concious mind.

    Good One!

  4. Dr. Boon Chu Chai on January 1st, 2011 4:04 pm

    Thank you for publishing my thoughts. I enjoyed giving this interview a while back. Visit my Facebook to see other thoughts and please look to join the discussions. BCC

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